


The Princess and the Courtesan

by Fireheart26



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Arranged Marriage, F/F, Mentioned mild homophobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:21:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22744723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fireheart26/pseuds/Fireheart26
Summary: Aelin is suffocating in courtly etiquette and expectations she will never live up to, all while still struggling from her past. All she desires is to be who she wants, to do what she wants and to be with whoever she wants; can Lysandra help her with this. All human au.
Relationships: Aelin Ashryver Galathynius | Celaena Sardothien/Lysandra
Comments: 10
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

Meandering around the crowds, the princess of Terrasen attempted to try and look at least a little pleased at the revelry going on around her since it was her birthday party after all. Rhoe, Aelin's dad, had invited everybody he knew, most of whom she had never spoken to and hoped that she'd never have to.

Swathes of fabric whirled around her, tightly controlled faces pressed in on her, the heat suffocated her; she was reminded why she hated these gatherings more and more each second. Every face was fake, every conversation aimed to benefit whichever guest was trying to manipulate her.

Her dress was custom made especially for this event and it consisted of a plunging sweetheart neckline held by spaghetti straps. The yellow fabric enclosed her chest and stomach so tightly purposefully to enhance her appearance but it also meant that it restricted her breathing. Aelin had to admit that she liked the bottom half which was a yellow tulle skirt that was elegant yet had a fun aspect. The further down the dress, the more gold glitter there was and they were offset by the thousands of candles illuminating the royal ballroom.

"May I have this dance?" Dorian had taken her hand and gently kissed it in the process while she nodded numbly in response. She liked Dorian, more than any other suiter her parents had advised her to mingle with such as Sartaq, the favourite of the Southern Continent’s royal children who everyone expects to become emperor when the times comes, and Hiram, Nehemia's brother and heir to Eyllwe, but out of the two only Sartaq was present tonight as his family had business to attend to in the country anyway and Dorian, heir to Adarlan, seemed to spend most of his time here in Terrasen. But she didn't like him in the way that counted, the way that ended in marriage, the way that ended in a binding union of their countries.

"Read any good books lately?" He twirled her around and looked at her expectantly.

"None that you'd like, I garner they'd be too cloying for you."

"I like a bit of romance, the gods know that I need a bit of my own in my life," a roguish smile accompanied his words that were both brash yet bashful in the insinuations of his intentions towards her. It had Aelin feeling guilty for not returning the sentiment. Dorian was a friend and that was all.

She curtsied as a formality and attempted to escape the cage of dancers waltzing around her. She needed a drink.

Aelin found a waiter walking around with a tray of glasses and claimed one for herself. Looking around, Aelin saw everyone milling around the ball with their dates on their arms.

She felt alien to them, abnormal. All her life she had never been in a real relationship and it's not that she didn't want one but she had never met anyone right for her and because of this,she was made to feel as though she was failing at life because she didn't have one and it didn’t help that her parents constantly reminded her of that fact. 

In reality, most of the people who she felt she connected to the most were people in books and for this reason, she sometimes thought that books were slightly damaging because no-one lived up to her standards derived from war torn dystopian societies and contemporary whirlwind romances. Despite this, she still read avidly and lived many lives of which she could only imagine while confined in her bedroom in the palace, guards lining the walls outside. Books stopped her from being lonely, they let her experience things intangible in her own life, allowed her to form feelings and connections and provided her with a distraction.

Her future was her own, her parents had always wanted her to be independent and have choices, the only things that were inevitable was that she would find a husband, have children and pass the throne on to them. Rhoe and Evalin had made sure that their daughter knew that. Though it was inevitable, she didn't want it. Though her life was mapped out before her, the unknown still scared her.

"Ahh Aelin, I was.." Aelin reeled in her thoughts and tried to focus on the present but her mind was sent to the one constant love in her life: chocolate cake. Ignoring the voice trying to speak with her, she politely excused herself just as she'd been taught her whole life in her etiquette lessons.

Making her way towards the buffet table, she noticed Clarisse and stopped dead in her tracks...

Her mind turned cloudy; memories breaking down the walls she had meticulously built, her thoughts fused and exploded leaving a haze in its wake....

One step, two steps, three steps, stop. Gasp. "I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going," Aelin exclaimed.

She had walked into the girl Clarisse had been speaking to but Clarisse herself was nowhere to be seen anymore, all that was left was the girl with striking green eyes and dark waves of hair, standing covered in the champagne from Aelin's glass.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s fine, honestly.”

“No, your dress is ruined.” She surveyed the dark patch in the purple, low-cut dress,”you can borrow one of mine,” Aelin practically dragged the girl in the direction of her living quarters before she could protest.

True, she partially had done it to escape the stifling heat of the ball but in her defence, there was a huge dark splotch on the girl's dress so the least she could do was to give her one from her own extensive collection.

Aelin slowed down once they were a few corridors away from the revelry and let go of the girl’s arm who was looking quite baffled.

After seeing the look on her face, Aelin said, ”I’m sorry for being so abrupt, and sorry again for spilling my drink on you.”

“You don’t have to do this, I don’t expect you to give up one of your own gowns for me.” The girl looks at her feet, intimidated to be so close to the princess maybe or perhaps she was just bashful all the time.

"It's no trouble, if I'm completely honest I'm glad to get out of there. My face was starting to ache from the fake smiles and I was running out of polite ways to decline dances and excuse myself." A glimpse of a smile graced her features but Aelin knew that twist of features all too well: it was the composed,dignified courtly facade of leisure that had been embedded in her earliest memories.

Opening the door to her wardrobe which could constitute as a small room, Aelin prompted her to browse through the boundless folds of fabric and choose one to have.

"What's your name?"

The smile faded slightly but still lingered at the corners of her mouth. "Lysandra."

It suited her, Aelin though; was elegant, refined and alluring.

"I hope you don't think that I'm prying but I noticed that you were talking to Clarisse, if she was bothering you I could get my dad to make her dress like a clown for a week." The attempt at humour was clearly either missed or ignored as Lysandra's expression was unchanging.

"I uhh... well I’m in debt to her.” Aelin knew what that meant. Clarisse owns a brothel in one of the neighbouring cities to Orynth. Rhoe insists that he only allows it because Clarisse is extremely wealthy and with that wealth comes power and influence. But she was in the castle and Clarisse would only allow the most refined courtesans to attend the ball, they usually came from inside the palace anyway. There is a quarter especially for Clarisse’s courtesans in the castle and again, Rhoe had had an excuse to cover up his hypocrisy; he hated Clarisse and all of her possessions and yet he allowed it to happen, he even went as far as to offer them personal rooms in the castle, all to please his nobles he claims.

Lysandra’s face was full of apprehension and she looked as though she was ready to raise her mental barriers if Aelin’s reaction was anything similar to what the other court members would have undoubtedly displayed ranging from disgust to delight at her being available.

Attempting to put her at ease and reassure her, Aelin gave a small smile and said, “I think this would look great on you.”

She was holding a floor-length, forest green gown. It was an off the shoulder dress that would go straight across her chest where a small ruffle would fall slightly down the front. The bottom would flow out and was not tight fitted which was one of the reasons why Aelin chose it, she didn't want Lysandra to have to keep parading herself around when she was clearly uncomfortable with it and with the dress Clarissa had provided her with. The other reason why Aelin had chosen this dress was because it had the most flexible fabrics to accommodate her larger bust. "Put it on!"

As soon as Lysandra tried to protest on the grounds that it looked very expensive and too regal for her, Aelin immediately shut down all of her complaints until she could do nothing but take the dress and put it on while Aelin waited patiently outside in her lounge, ready to be called back in.

The door opened imperceptibly, almost timidly, and then widened the gap so the princess could see Lysandra wholly.

“I have a necklace that would look amazing on you!”

After rummaging around in her overflowing jewellery box for a couple of second, Aelin drew out a diamond encrusted necklace that would mirror the neckline of the dress perfectly and had emerald green gemstones embedded at intervals that were the precise shade of green that would bring out the otherwise hidden hues covertly shining in Lysandra’s eyes.

Determination laced Aelin's soft features as she offered her the necklace expectant eyes that Lysandra appeared to not be able to say not to so gave a soft nod and encouraging smile.

With Lysandra's hair now swept to the side, the princess looped the piece of jewellery around the slender column of her neck and secured the clasp, soothing her curls down so they fell behind her. Blue eyes ringed with gold met green eyes interlaced with hazel in the mirror Lysandra was admiring the gift.

"I'll bring the dress and necklace back tomorrow if that's suitable for you, or maybe next week if that's better?"

"They're a gift, you don't have to return them but you could come visit anyway if you'd like."

Lysandra turned around and Aelin had to step back slightly, she hadn't realised they were so close. 

The courtesan looked shocked at the princess' seemingly highly inappropriate proposal but her expression morphed into mild amusement when Aelin's cheeks tinge pink slightly , "I meant that we could just keep each other company and even become friends." She averted her gaze. "You see, I don't have many true friends. There's always one of three problems; they are either obsequious sycophants, are too scared to do or say anything in case I was going to banish them from the country or they're pompous and spoilt and are only nice to me in attempt to get closer to Aedion."

A short laugh escaped Lysandra and she bit her bottom lip to try and keep it in but the grin lingered. "I'd like that. I don't have many friends either, no-one really understands how I feel, not even the other courtesans. They don't even try. They don't care."

“Well I’m free tomorrow morning, why don’t we have breakfast then go for a walk around the gardens?”

“I’d like that but right now we should probably be getting back to the ball especially since it’s in honour of your birthday,” Lysandra gave a small smile and when Aelin agreed with a hearty smile they walked back to the party together where the room no longer felt as suffocating, the people there no longer seemed as threatening and the atmosphere now seemed welcoming as the heat embraced her.


	2. Chapter 2

Walking from the meeting she had just exited, Aelin lamented all those hours was wasted on sitting prettily and remaining diplomatic while remaining in her place, and by that she meant imitating one of the mute silent assassins in the desert who she had spent some time with when her parents thought it best for the princess to learn how to defend herself.

In truth, Aelin didn't mind being quiet for a little while despite it being uncharacteristic of her because it allowed her some time to reminisce about all the early morning breakfasts and evening wine drinking sessions she had been having with Lysandra lately. When they had eaten breakfast together the day after the ball, it was as though they had known each other for their entire lives, they had talked about anything and everything and from then on they had been inseparable.

She was heading towards the gardens; she always did after meetings and while she would like to make it a regular occurrence every morning there was always something else that demanded her attention. It was a place where she could go and be plagued by the single, inconsequential worry of a patch of flowers withering or there being child-sized footprints indented into the grass but no sooner had she noticed, the gardener would have planted the flowers anew.

Aelin was walking down the steps as she spotted Sartaq standing statuesque at the bottom string expectantly at the doorway. For most people, the stance would come across as awkward or stalker-like but with him, it radiated regality and arrogance. She averted her eyes the second she locked his gaze in an attempt to try ignore him.

"Would you mind if I joined you on your walk?"

"Of course not," Aelin replied with a fake smile plastered across her face.

As she reached the bottom, Sartaq matched her steps and they strolled a couple of paces in companionable silence.

"So is there a reason why you were waiting for me at the bottom of the steps then?" She feigned nonchalance through the casual sweetness in her tone and slightly turned her mask of quizzical interest towards him.

"Well, your parents might have told me that you walk this way everyday, and they may have also suggested that I should wait for you so we could get to know each other better," an amused smile accompanied his words, "and I thought that I might as well since I've been meaning to talk to you about this anyway."

Out of her peripheral vision, Aelin caught a glimpse of her mother peering out of one of the windows, it was gone as soon as she realised her daughter was staring back. 

"And what exactly did you wish to talk about? About how you are desperately in love with me and want to bind us in marriage for the rest of our lives?" Her head tilted to the side, she fluttered her eyelashes and her sweetly sarcastic tone reflected the smirk that played around her mouth. As she said it, she recalled times in her childhood when all the rulers met together and the children were left in a separate room to play. She had liked Sartaq then, he was always one of the quietest and made a habit of alternating between looking bemused and attempting to trick everyone into believing that he wasn't related to his siblings whenever they were fighting. They had never got along all that well, at least not as well as she did with Nehemiah, Dorian or Ansel but she liked to think that they were amicable.

He gave her a side glance and a relieved sigh, "I'm glad we're on the same page." It seemed that he was now immune to her sarcasm by now.

"Now, I know why I don't want it but how could you deny this?" Sartaq laughed as Aelin placed her chin on a hand and did her best to imitate Fleetfoot's pleading face.

He was hiding something. He'd stopped laughing like that at her jokes a long time ago when he realised he was under no obligation to do so.

A sigh escaped the prince of the southern continent and he spoke like he'd been waiting a lifetime to let it all out, "there's this girl that I want to be with, a girl that I love but it's complicated. She's with someone else and has no nobility in her bloodline, I'm not even sure if she would leave her life she's built for me."

A sympathetic look crossed Aelin's features. "Do I know her?"

"It's Nesryn."

Nesryn, one of Dorian's most trusted guards, was with Chaol and had been since he cheated on her with Nesryn. Her family were renowned bakers who had created her birthday cake. The girl from the southern continent had against all the odds succeeded in becoming a high ranking guard in Adarlan and was even tasked with the honour of guarding the prince. Aelin knew how hard she had worked to attain the privileged position she was in at the moment and she had nothing but respect for the comments that she defied each and every day. Aelin had nothing against her, had even got along with her and had envied her freedom and ambition until she caught them in bed with each other and ever since, whenever she was in Aelin presence she averted her gaze. 

When she was sixteen, the princess had briefly dated Adarlan's captain of the guard. It started one night when she felt as though she had to prove herself so she slept with him and despite their relationship being mostly physical, it meant something to her, he was her first but clearly that didn't mean anything to him.

She was tempted to tell him to go for it just to spite Chaol but when she told him that he should follow his heart and to allow himself to be selfish for a change, she did it because she knew that Nesryn would be better off with Sartaq, that he would truly love her and she knew that since that day she felt obligated to be with Chaol so his sacrifice wasn't a waste.

Sartaq gave a warm smile and said, "I hope you find your happiness one day, sometimes you just need to look in the most unexpected places."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When she was leaving the gardens, Aelin had bumped into her parents who had told her that they had hinted at both Dorian and Hiram as well as Sartaq to mingle with her while they were staying at the palace for the celebration of 100 years of peace.

But now, Aelin was lounging on her bed with Lysandra next to her, drinking wine. They had both had a tiring day and felt they needed to unwind and relax so this was how they decided to spend their free evening: reclining and laughing together while frequently topping up each other's glasses.

Fleetfoot dozed quietly near Lysandra where she had been stroking her for the past half hour when the golden dog had come barrelling in.

Their conversation flowed, at times they were so excited about topics that they interrupted each other and at others, a comfortable silence settled in the air but whatever the atmosphere was, it was all natural; they were just two ordinary girls having a cosy night in to gossip and drink wine.

As the night progressed, their speech became more and more slurred and Aelin felt her eyes drooping closed more often. She only gave in to them however when she looked over and found Lysandra asleep with an empty glass in hand. 

A clink sounded as Aelin deposited both of their glasses on the table next to her and fell promptly asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Aelin!" An anxious cry perforated the unending volley of screams.

"Wake up, please!" The voice became a little less urgent but still insistent as the owner gently held her wrists to stop the blonde from causing any harm. The grip tight enough to restrain her, but gentle enough to imitate a caress.

Her eyes were open but her mind was not yet engaged. "Lysandra," her voice was nothing more than a throaty croak and Aelin realised that the screams she heard had come from her, this thought occurred to her with no small amount of self-consciousness. The sheets were tangled and twined around her legs, like vines binding her until her legs were bound so tightly by the bonds chaining them in place that she couldn't move.

Her breaths came quicker and her eyes became less hazy as her mind whirred into consciousness.

Lysandra was chanting something. "You're okay, you're safe, I'm here, you're okay." Her shooting voice quieted the manic thoughts battling for dominance over her mind and Aelin concentrated on her lips as they repeated the slow and steady rhythm, calming her and giving her something to focus on, to ground her.

Breaths evening out, Aelin managed to let out an apology that could have been mistaken for a croak but Lysandra appeared to have understood because her eyebrows impossibly knitted together even more intensely. She then proceeded to quietly but not weakly chided her for this unnecessary response.

Tears stung her eyes again and she felt them leave tracks down her face as gasping breaths filled her lungs once again. Lysandra pulled her into a hug and attempted to calm her down.

After what felt like hours, Aelin was composed in her arms enough that Lysandra said earnestly, "you don't have to tell me what it was about but I'm here if you ever want to talk."

"No it's okay. I just woke up screaming, I think you deserve an explanation." A wry grin accompanied her words but the attempt at humour either went unnoticed or ignored and Lysandra's expression continued to display uninterrupted concern. 

A sigh escaped her, "when I was eight, my parents hired a self-defence instructor to teach me since the title itself comes with dangers but the real danger was him, Arobynn. He groomed me to believe that he was looking after me, that he was my protector and that's how he got me to leave the castle with him straight into the hands of the rebel gang he led."

Shock was written across Lysandra's features, plain as day and in the dim light shining past the curtains. After all she would have been young when it happened, perhaps the same age as Aelin herself but if she had been older, she would have remembered for the whole country was in chaos at the princess' disappearance. 

"The rebels proposed a list of demands to my father in exchange for my safe return but....... he never really considered giving in to them. He claimed it would have made him look weak and encourage others to follow their example." A steady flow of tears tickled her face as they fell on to the blue material of Lysandra's dress and her throat started to close up again but she pushed the words past anyway. 

"It was Aedion who rallied a search and got some warriors to find me and they did after what felt like forever. By then I was already half starved and beaten," a long sign ensues.

"The injuries to my back still cause me problems, if I overdo myself then sometimes I can barely get out of bed the pain is that bad and the nightmares.... they're crippling in their own right."

She pulled away from the warm comfort of Lysandra's arms and immediately regretted it, it felt like stepping out of a cosy cottage and into one of Terrasen's infamous winter nights.

Despite craving her embrace, Aelin needed to see her face, gauge her reaction.

"I'm glad you felt like you could tell me. I'm afraid my story isn't as exciting," a wry smile. "My father left before I was born, my mother kicked me out on the streets when I was five and that's when Clarisse took me in and trained me as a courtesan." She trailed off at the end as though she had dealt with everything but that; everything but what she is, what she has become.

"It may not be as fast-paced and thrilling but I'd say just as traumatic." Aelin was now looking straight into the depths of Lyaandra's eyes. There were so many layers and Aelin couldn't help but think that was reflected in her personality too. The darkest hues exploded from her pupils like stars shining constantly in her eyes despite the darkness of the room.

Aelin hadn't realised that they had been getting closer together but she couldn't stop. Her lips crashed ontoLysandra's.

Everything stilled.

Nothing happened. Lysandra didn't reciprocate but didn't pull back either. 

Aelin's heart hammered in her chest as she wondered why the hell she had to go and ruin everything.

Leaning back, she tried to search Lysandra's face for any hint of what she was thinking but there was nothing.

"I should be getting back!"

Lysandra was out the door before Aelin's dumbfounded face could even think to rearrange itself and call after her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter yet and actually the one I most enjoyed writing :)

Aelin was at another ball, but this time, she wasn't the centre of attention. It was in celebration of 100 years of peace. 

The dress she was wearing was simple yet one of her favourites because it allowed her to forego a corset. The pink, silky material with a sweetheart neckline ignited a childish need in her to swing the skirt around and watch as the dress seemed to change colour in the light. She rationed with herself that the princess of Terrasen couldn't be seen doing such a thing but she wasn’t above doing so in the privacy of her own rooms, which she did.

Her mind was being constantly drawn without her consent to someone who was missing tonight. The courtesans were not invited to tonight's event because the room was already so full it was hard to move and this was intended to be a much classier affair that was an important and joyful cause for many. This as a direct result however, meant that Lysandra wasn't here, which Aelin was partially relieved about because she was out of the way of noblemen looking to hire services, but it also made Aelin uneasy and scared for where Lysandra actually was right now. Clarisse would still have bookings and that thought made Aelin want to vomit. 

She could see Hiram hovering by a group of guests who all seemed to have hailed from Eyllwe- based on the hue of their skin which matched the rich black of the prince’s own skin tone- his country of origin. He was looking back at her discreetly.

Aelin made sure that she had turned her face far enough away from him while she drank out of the champagne glass she was carrying for him to not see her eyes roll. Her parents had really gone and hounded all three of her ‘potentials’ they liked to call them. Well, she was one down with two more to go now; she only hoped by some miracle that Hiram had no interest in her either.

The next second, she was proven wrong if that proprietary look he served her was anything to go by.

He was now standing in front of her with a hand outstretched to replace the glass she had just drained with one he had plucked from a server’s tray.

“Trying to get me drunk?” Though her words held a flirtatious implication, her tone held no sweetness and certainly no invitation. 

“Of course not, I respect women, especially ones I’m trying to court.”

“And what if I’m not interested in being courted?” At his raised eyebrows she added, “despite what my parents may have said.”

“You’ll come round eventually, they always do” The entitlement in his voice irked Aelin unexpectedly, but she supposed that she was running quite a short temper recently with her parents being so insistent on her finding a suitor, unbeknown to them that she had found the person that she wanted to be with already. They just wouldn't approve.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot for a moment that women are supposed to fall at your feet, your highness. But I suppose that you also forgot that I’m just as high ranking as you and that I don’t need a man to latch onto at every moment.” Anger laced her tone but she made sure to keep her voice down; the last thing she needed was to cause a scene.

His reaction just angered her even more: a satisfied smile and a quirked eyebrow was all that she received until after a moment, “I’m sorry, it’s just that Nehemia has told me exactly what your preference is and it sounds so much like me: tall, dark, long hair, charismatic, hilarious. It's like you were thinking specifically of me. Apart from the fact that she also said female, of course.”

Shock left her unable to speak. She casually linked her hand around Hiram’s arm and tugged him towards a quieter area of the ballroom that was also partially concealed from view. He followed without complaint.

“Look, I’m not going to tell anyone and believe it or not, I’d rather not be forced into a marriage either. Nehemia told me because I was optimistic, I wanted to help my country through an alliance , I’m not the heir, I have nothing else of any importance I can offer so I spoke to her about how best I could get you to agree.”

She shrugged off the hand he had placatingly rested on her shoulder. She was just teasing her when he seemed interested. It made her even more angry. She was angry at her parents for meddling, she was angry at Nehemia for telling him and she was angry at Hiram for stringing her on and for….for knowing.

There was nothing she had left to say to him so she turned around and left. 

The breeze swept up her two locks of hair hanging down either side of her face as she entered the large courtyard adorned in greenery and colourful flowers that were so bright, they penetrated the darkness of the night she hadn't even realised had crept in. Half of her hair was pinned up with the rest left to hang loose down her back, swaying in the slight wind.

As she traipsed the flagstone walkway, her mind was pulled into the direction of remembering when Nehemia herself had found out about Aelin’s… predisposition.  
Gods, she couldn't even say it to herself, how did she expect Lysandra to want to be with her if she couldn’t be honest. No wonder she had been avoiding her since the kiss; she probably didn’t feel like letting her down.

When she was younger and with Chaol, Nehemia had come to visit her friend. She never really liked him from the start but her feelings about him strengthened when she realised how unhappy Aelin was with him. It didn’t take her long however to realise that in fact, it wasn’t all to do with Chaol. Nehemia herself had no real preference for a certain gender and she was very open about it, it’s one of the things that Aelin admires about her. In Eyllwe though, they were much more open about their sexuality and Nehemia has multiple siblings to provide heirs.

Aelin on the other hand, did not have these luxuries. Nehemia stayed in Terrasen for a little while after Aelin and Chaol’s break up to comfort her and they ended having somewhat of a fling Again and again, the princess of Eyllwe insisted that she should embrace her true self or otherwise she would never be truly happy but Aelin would come up with an excuse of why she couldn’t every time.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by light footsteps and the sight of her mother coming up beside her.

Her parents and herself had been close when she was young, even closer after she had been returned after her kidnap but then she had gotten older and learned what they had done to help her: basically nothing. And then Aedion had come out as bisexual and their response strained their relationship even more.

“You can’t keep turning away perfectly suitable men. You have known for a long time that one day you would need to be selfless and sacrifice yourself for the good of our country,” Evalin Ashryver was staring straight ahead of her as though she couldn't bear to look at her daughter who had disappointed her yet again, “I have tried my best for this arrangement to be as comfortable for you as possible, you have three of them to choose from, the three kindest princes who you seemed to get along with the most, and yet here you are, throwing back in mine and your father’s faces.”

She supposed that it was a mercy that they hadn’t chosen Arghun but that didn’t mean that she should be grateful that she’s been forced into a marriage with anyone else just because they are the best.

Her mother sighed, “look, darling,” Evalin had turned towards her and used Aelin’s hands which she now held between them to make her daughter stop too, “I hate that this has to happen, and I know that this sounds horrible but we’re lucky that the rulers even want to entertain the idea of a union of one of their sons with you.”

Anger flared at the pit of her stomach. She didn’t have to say what she meant. She looked as if she really didn’t want to say it either because all that would come of it was a huge argument that neither of them had the energy to maintain.

By what she said, she meant that Aelin had had past relationships everyone knew about her scars, and no-one could deny the temper she had. She wasn't exactly the pristine, passive wife that the rulers envisioned for their children.

“How dare you, I am your daughter, not a prize cattle. Why is it so unthinkable that you should just want me to be happy? It is after all, something that you failed to achieve. One would think that you’d try and make up for allowing what happened but instead you’re trying to get rid of me!”

“It’s not like that. Me and your father tried our very best to get you back home and safe but you have to understand, if we took any other course of action, we would have been putting others at risk.”

“It's fair enough you didn’t want to put others at risk but you could have done more than just sitting back and watching. Aedion did a hell of a lot more than you did and you had a whole country at your disposal!” she wouldn't listen to any more of what she had to say, chances were that she’d already heard it all before anyway.

She stormed out of the courtyard but she couldn’t stand the thought of returning to the ball so she went to the place where she would find the only person she wanted to see right now.

She knew it was a bad idea, a terrible idea really, but she couldn’t convince herself to turn around before she got hurt.

Corridor after corridor, turn after turn, it must have taken her at least half an hour to reach the courtesans quarters as it was located far away from social spaces where they could be seen milling about, her father had made sure of it.

She reached the first passage of rooms that belonged to Clarisse’s courtesans and realised that she had no clue which one was Lysandra’s. Lysandra had made sure that she had always been the one to meet Aelin either in the princess’ rooms or somewhere else.

A tall, skinny, raven haired woman walked out of one of the doors and Aelin decided whether she should ask her, word would get out but the rumour of Aelin being in the courtesan quarters would spread anyway. “I was looking for Lysandra’s room, she borrowed a dress of mine when hers got ruined, I was wondering if you could point me in her direction.” 

The woman clearly recognised her if the stunned look on her face was anything to go by.

“She’s not here at the moment but there’s her room if you want to wait for her,” she pointed at a door further down the corridor on the opposite wall. 

“Thank you.” She made her way towards the door she had pointed to and saw the woman’s expression morph into something other than shock but Aelin didn’t care to consider what it was.

Once inside, Aelin could see that Lysandra’s room was fairly bare and basic. It was so at odds with what she had learned about Lysandra so far; she appreciated the good things in life and took a special interest and enjoyment in fashion. And yet….this was her room with a bed covered in a largely plain duvet with little decoration, unblemished walls, windows with curtains that looked like they barely blocked out any light and a lamp, the most ornate thing in the room, that stood on a bedside table. She wondered if this was the wrong room.

Aelin perched on the end of the bed and the thought returned to her that this is a horrible idea, an invasion of her privacy. She stood and sat again and again, repeating the motion over and over.

The wardrobe snagged Aelin’s frenzied eyes because it was so full it was almost overflowing. Bright colours peeked out between the doors of the simple armoire and she could see a dark green amidst the array of skirts. She wondered if it was the same dress Aelin had given Lysandra when they had first met because she had spilled her drink over her. 

The dress was one that Nehemia had given her because it was the same exact shade of Terrasen green. It also happened to be the dress she had been wearing when she and Nehemia had the argument that got out of hand about Aelin being honest with herself.

Caught in the process of standing back up again, Aelin straightened her spine when she saw the doorknob turn. She tried to act casual and hide her nervousness behind the same facade she had spent her entire life perfecting.

That show of strength quickly dissolved when Lysandra entered the room. Tears were silently streaming down her cheeks and her dress was torn in multiple places, her hands trembled as she tried to hold it together, hold herself together. 

Lysandra’s green eyes were pinned on Aelin when she looked up, they were wide and horrified to find the princess in her room.

Aelin was in shock and didn’t know what to say, what could she say? She was clearly not okay and it was obvious what had happened.

Deciding that speaking was not her best option, Aelin took a step forward to…. She didn’t know what she was going to do. Hug her? Maybe she didn’t want physical contact right now or maybe it would be different if it was a comforting gesture coming from Aelin.

She had taken too long, “what are you doing here? You have no no right to be in here, get out!” Lysandra’s voice rose as she spoke, her anger evident in the way her brows scrunched together and lines formed on her forehead.

“I didn’t mean to invade your privacy, I just wanted to talk,” She made sure that her words held a note of pleading, Her nervousness was now visible as her hands fiddled and wrung. She couldn’t help but still think it was a bad idea to come here yet she was simultaneously relieved that she was her with Lysandra, so she could be a source of comfort in some way, if she let her. Or maybe that was Aelin just being presumptuous in thinking that she would want her here.

Aelin saw something in the woman’s face that allowed her to pluck up the courage and take another step forward. Lysandra took a step back and said, “I need to take a bath, then we can talk.” She seemed somewhat ashamed, especially when she slipped past her towards the bathroom, and it made Aelin want to just embrace her tightly but that would only serve to exacerbate Lysandra’s shame and anger.

So she waited for her to return, looked around the room and hoped that when she did exit the bathroom again, Lysandra wouldn’t hate her.

After what felt like an hour had passed when Lysandra finally came back out in a robe, her hair sopping wet. Neither of them said anything until Lysandra croaked out, “I’ve been meaning to come see you. I’m sorry about how I reacted, I was just shocked to see you here.”

Aelin shook her head, she didn’t trust her voice to not break, and felt her eyes grow damp. 

Lysandra let out a small sob and curled up next to Aelin on the bed, she pulled her into a tight embrace and rubbed her back until Lysandra’s crying subsided and she lifted her head to face Aelin fully.

“Why don’t we try and tame this mop of yours then,” the golden blonde sent a grin Lysandra’s way, all while stroking down the length of her hair.

The woman returned her smile with a breathy laugh and a roll of her eyes as she reached over to her nightstand and pulled out a brush from the top draw then handed it to Aelin who nudged her to turn around so she sat in front of her. This was the best way Aelin could imagine this conversation going, not being able to see Lysandra’s face and her not being able to read her own expressions.

“I’m sorry about running out-”

“Stop apologising, you have nothing to apologise for.” She made another brush stroke.

“-No, I shouldn’t have done that. It's just that… I don’t know how it would work. No-one could know and I’m not sure if I’d be able to be everything you need, everything you want; emotionally and physically.” The speed at which she was talking increased with every word she said, so much so that the last part was nearly unintelligible. It was clear that she was benefiting from this position too.

“I don’t expect anything from you. All I want is what you are willing to give,” the brush curved around Lysandra’s ear, “I’m not trying to push you into anything, if you don’t want me like that then I’ll never bring it back up.” She didn't want to say what would happen if she did want her, she hoped that she had already conveyed that in her voice because to say it would be getting her hopes up and she didn’t want to be let down too badly.

Aelin didn’t know what else to say so she counted how many brush strokes she made while she waited for Lysandra to interrupt the tension-filled, yet comfortable, pause that hung in the air.

One stroke, two strokes, three strokes….

“I’m looking for the princess, she has been reported missing and she was last seen coming to this end of the castle.”

“No, I’d have thought she would be attending the celebration?”

The brush was held aloft. The first voice must have been a guard and the second voice sounded like Clarisse. They also sounded close-by.

“I have to check that she is not in any of these rooms.”

“I highly doubt it but of course you can check. I’ll come with you, we can start here and work our way down.”

Clarisse probably just wanted to know if she was found and which courtesan to berate about her not knowing about it.

Their footsteps seemed to be travelling away from them and Lysandra turned around, panic stricken, despite their retreating in the opposite direction.

“You go to the door under the pretence of being curious and tell me when the coast is clear, okay?” Lyandra still looked scared, and it warmed Aelin to think that it was over her getting in trouble but Aelin was also scared that she would be found and Clarisse would punish Lysandra somehow. “It’s okay,” she cupped her face between her hands and tried to neutralise her features, “meet me in the gardens at breakfast, yeah?” She nodded.

Lysandra pulled the door open just a crack and motioned for Aelin to go. They shared a meaningful look and then she was gone. Just as she passed the door frame, she saw a head peek out from behind a different door, however. It was the woman from earlier, the one that had shown her to Lysandra’s room so Aelin supposed that it didn’t really matter that she had seen her, she already knew she was there.


	4. Chapter 4

Two down, one left to go. Going by the way Dorian was sizing her up as she traced the same path she always did after long meetings and occasionally greetings, it was going to be now. 

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here when I decided to get some fresh air.”

Lie. It was now common knowledge that this was her daily route she took in the mornings but despite him being a terrible liar, he was always forgiven when his statements were accompanied by that brazen smile. A flash of teeth and all was forgiven.

It was a shame, for him at least, that she had adapted and become immune to his charm in all the years she had known him. The resistance had taken effect ever since they were eight years old when he claimed that he couldn’t have two best friends, leading him to drop her in favour of Chaol.

When it became apparent that Aelin wasn’t going to play along he carried on. “I know that your parents have been whispering in Sartaq and Hiram’s ears too and I also know that they have already made their moves on their behest; only they were unsuccessful where I hope not to be. I won’t be arrogant enough to assume that it’s because you were waiting for me.” his grin contradicted the last statement. ”I take it they have been pouring spirits in thine ear too?”

It had been a long standing game between the two: quoting books and plays, even at the most inconvenient times. She remembered a time when they were sat in a meeting with both of their respective courts and they would make references intermittently throughout, waiting for anyone else to notice but they clearly didn’t have as much time on their hands to become so cultured.

It was one of the reasons why they became such good friends, they had shared interests and hobbies that made for some substantial conversations and not just the usual small talk. That’s the friend she wanted back but recently he had been too preoccupied with following through with both of their parents’ wishes. It seemed he was very fond of the idea himself.

A smile creeped onto her lips at the memory and in amusement at the quote Dorian had paraphrased from a line in Macbeth. The Shakespearean play used to be one of their favourites to go and watch at the theatre.

“Are you suggesting that my parents are power-hungry murderers?” She said it with an air of mock outrage.

“Of course not, they just know what they have to do for the good of their country. I actually rather feel that the comparison of Lady Macbeth is more suited to you.”

“Oh really, so you think I’m psychotic. How very flattering of you.”

“Most definitely, but in the best possible way. I mean that you are strong minded and ruthless, just like Lady Macbeth.” She looked over at him as he spoke while they moved down the steps.

That was a side of her she hadn’t unleashed in a while; she had managed to keep her usually short temper on a tight leash. This hadn’t always been the case however and during that time, Dorian had had a front row seat as it was in full swing and didn’t balk at it in the slightest. He had only looked on in interest.

“And you want to be my Macbeth,” she said the words with a sense of finality yet a hint of questioning, even though she knew that the ultimate goal of this conversation for him was having her agree to become his wife.

He sighed. “Look, this is the best outcome that this bad situation could possibly result in.”

“No, Dorian. I’m not giving in, not with this.”

“You can only push them so far because one day, one day soon, they’ll just choose for you.”

She knew it was true. She knew she had been ignoring that inevitable situation but the longer she could remain in ignorance, the better.

“The exit from the gardens is that way, Dorian, in case you’ve forgotten,” Aedion said as he headed towards them from the direction they were walking in. She hadn’t noticed because she had been too preoccupied watching Dorian.

Dorian looked as though he was going to retort but the look on Aedion’s face convinced him that it wasn’t a very good idea.

“You’re back!” Aelin ran the rest of the way towards her cousin and wrapped her arms around his middle since he was tall enough for her putting her arms around his neck to be uncomfortable. He had been with the Bane for a couple of months now doing his job as the general.

Dorian had gone towards where Aedion had motioned to leave the cousins to enjoy their reunion.  
Aedion gripped her tightly and said, “wow, if only I got this welcome from your parents.” Aelin looked at him quizzically, she couldn’t fathom why he would expect them to give him anything remotely like this reception because of their strained relationship. They had treated him pretty much like their own son until he came out and after that, the best their relationship got was civil.

She knew that her parents would be a bit hostile after her disappearance last night when she had claimed to need some time for herself in the usually vacant area of the castle but they had no reason to take that out on Aedion.

He carried on, “they were even worse than usual when I got here, barely even acknowledging my existence.”

“Yeah, that could be my fault. Actually, no, it’s almost definitely my fault.” He huffed a laugh but seemed slightly concerned so she carried on and told him about everything. She told him about her parents trying to set up an arranged marriage for her, about Lysandra and about how hopeless and powerless she feels. She trusts him with it all, she spilled out her innermost thoughts on the situation and didn’t refrain or hold anything back; he wouldn't judge and she needed to tell someone.

When she was finally exhausted of words… she just breathed… and she took in the quiet that surrounded her and Aedion as they sat on the wooden bench.

Aedion seemed to be processing the overload of information.

He let out a breath and looked as though he was about to say something but she stopped paying attention to him as her eye caught on a figure lingering near the entrance. 

Aelin turned her head back to her cousin to tell him to leave, politely of course, but he seemed to already get the message because he swallowed the words he was about to say and asked, “that’s her isn’t it?”

She nodded, guilty at getting him to leave just as she’d stopped ranting at him about all her problems, he’d barely even managed to get a word in edgeways. “I arranged to meet her here, I didn’t expect to be ambushed by so many people vying for my attention.” 

Her attempt at humour with the drama etched into her voice hit its mark, just as it always did with her cousin, they were basically the same person repackaged with few added extras tied in a bow.

He said goodbye and when he passed Lysandra he gave a kind smile and a nod of his head in acknowledgement. She did the same in return and made for the seat he had just vacated. 

Lysandra was wearing a simple light pink dress, perfect for the spring breeze.

“I take it everything went okay, after last night I mean?”

“My parents weren’t very happy but they’ll get over it.” This implied that if her parents did know what was going on between her and Lysandra, they wouldn’t get over it. When she reassessed everything that her parents have ever said to her about suitors, courtesans and homosexuality, Aelin found what she had suggested held true.

The girl from last night was passing by the orchid beds with her hand hung around the arm of what looked to be a noble. It took a second for Aelin to recognise him but when she did, a pang of pity rang through her for the girl as it did anytime she witnessed anyone having to be around him.

Duke Perrington led the girl at a leisurely speed and she matched it. Her face was slightly gaunt, eyes slightly sunk in and her cheeks slightly hollowed. Her black dress and hair only made the unnatural paleness of her skin even more haunting. The dress had long, flowing sleeves but the sleeve of the arm slung around Perrington’s had slid down because of the angle and now bunched at her elbow. Aelin was struck by how thin her arm was but what really made her sit straighter was the ring of bruises around that slim forearm. A big bruise and five smaller ones; a hand print.

“Who is that?” Lysandra followed the princess’ gaze and her features softened. Her eyes and mouth both downturned in a way that reminded Aelin of melted wax running down the side of a candle.

“That’s Kaltain. She’s one of Clarisse’s courtesans but Duke Perrington has been looking to buy her, he's very fond of her and sees her often. Some of the other girls have said that he can be violent and controlling. I’m not exactly her biggest fan but I do worry about her. Ever since the Duke has claimed her as his, she has been getting thinner, paler and more… vacant.” Lysandra looked as though she wanted to be sick. Aelin was inclined to do the same.   
Perrington and Kaltain were now walking past where they were sat and he gave Aelin a bow while she gave an obligatory courtesy but remained looking between both the princess and Lysandra. The duke led the other courtesan away.

Aelin waited until they were out of earshot.

“I asked her where your room was and she saw me leaving. She wouldn’t abuse that information, would she?” 

Lysandra looked unsure for a second. “I don’t imagine so. She’s not the type of person I would like to have that information but even if she did say something, it would only get people asking questions. She probably isn’t even sure what it means herself and it's nothing concrete.”

Aelin agreed. It was becoming obvious to people within the castle that her and Lysandra had become friends anyway but it just wouldn’t look very good if they knew she had snuck in her room at such late hours when she should have been at the celebration.

Thinking about how her parents would react spurred Aelin on to move on to the next topic she wanted to talk about to Lysandra. 

Talking things through with Aedion had helped her to clear her mind somewhat and she knew exactly what she wanted to say.

“Look, I know that if I chose to be in a relationship with you my parents would dispute it, probably throw you in a dungeon somewhere and force me to marry one of the foreign princes but that doesn’t stop me from wanting it, from wanting you. I have no idea how this could possibly work but I know that, for me at least, it would wholly and completely be worth it. I know that it is blind recklessness and ignorance for me to believe that if they saw how happy you made me then they would give in but it doesn’t stop me from hoping that that is how this is going to play out. The only way we could go on is in secret. My parents would just about manage to cope with us being friends I think, so that is what we will appear to be to the world: just friends. We don’t have to rush. You can set the pace.”

Lysandra looked astonished at Aelin’s outburst but let out a breathy laugh that broke the tension. Aelin’s expression was purely bewildered but quickly changed into amusement when she elaborated. “You’re going to be a great queen one day with speeches like that.”

“I can be great at anything with you by my side.” Aelin knew that it was a cliche line but she didn’t regret it at all because it was true and it just made them laugh even more. Lysandra’s face turned a touch more serious and she said, “I want to be with you, more than anything, but I think it would be best for everyone if we take it slowly and just wait to  
see what happens.”

Aelin smiled at the woman and nodded excitedly, “now, I think it’s time we go raid Emrys’ stash of cake.”

“Aelin, it’s barely nine in the morning.”

“Exactly, I’m already late.” The two laughed and headed towards the kitchens.


	5. Chapter 5

A messenger knocked on the doors of Aelin’s room in the early hours of the morning to tell her that her parents wanted to meet with her in their own quarters. 

She moved slowly towards her closet because she was unused to being woken up so early. At least, it was extremely early to her as she usually got up fairly late compared to everyone else's standards.

She was a princess but that didn’t mean that she was allowed to slack off and not do any work despite what her morning routine would suggest. Aelin handled communications and helped organise events while spearheading the work of her charities as well as the ones the royal family endorsed. 

Her late mornings just meant that she carried on working late at night.

She had a feeling that what her parents wanted to meet with her about though wasn’t to do with the work she does.

Lately, every conversation she had with either of them would always end up steering towards the topic of marriage or one of her suitors.

Her feet dragged on the thick sheathed carpet which would be more comfortable to lie on than most beds, and trudged towards the door with the skirt of her dress she had donned flowing behind her. It was a white elegant dress with capped sleeves and cloth-covered buttons down the front that reached her navel. The top half was lace which abruptly ended at her waist and continued on to be a length of chiffon that reached the middle of her shins.

The dress was one that she and Lysandra had designed together and Aelin had commissioned a local, small tailor shop to create their vision. The princess had paid them handsomely for their work, even more than she had originally intended because she was so impressed.

The King and Queen of Terrasen were waiting for her in Rhoe’s office. As soon as Aelin entered, she could see that something was troubling them. Their faces displayed sympathy, anger and sadness all at once and none of them gave Aelin any clues as to what they were going to say to her.

They said good morning to their daughter, albeit with stiff lips, and that was apparently as far as they would take pleasantries with her at this time. 

Rhoe took the lead, no matter how hesitant he looked about having to do so, and said, “this is a terrible situation we are in at the moment and neither of us can blame you for not wanting to marry someone you don’t love. We get that, we really do, Aelin, but you have to understand that we would never make you do this if it wasn’t absolutely imperative for the future of Terrasen.”

Aelin was confused. Why was it so important that it had to happen so soon?

Her father let out a long breath as though he had read the question on her features. “We didn’t want to have to put this much pressure on you but… now it is our only option. Terrasen has been struggling financially for a while. We are forever trying to patch up disputes with Adarlan, the king of Eyllwe has not so subtly blackmailed us by implying he will no longer do business with us unless one of his sons marry you and that means we’ve had to inflate our prices and now nobody wants to trade with us!” As Rhoe had been speaking, his voice had increased in volume until he had been shouting. When he had stopped, he seemed shocked that he had been speaking so loud and the deafening silence resounded around the adequately sized room.

Her mother looked at Aelin imploringly and said with a calm tone, “we could do without Eyllwe’s trade if we had strong ties with another royal family so we thought we would give you the choice.”

Aelin was dumbfounded. She had nothing to say. There was nothing she could say.

Her people had been struggling all this time and she had been fussing over dresses, getting them custom made, and going to extravagant balls made to cover up the economic crisis that was happening just outside of the castle walls.

She thought of the small, defenceless children she had greeted on her outings. Would they be malnourished? Would they be even smaller than the last time she had seen them?

She thought of the elderly, the ill, those already in poverty. Their suffering had worsened because she was getting waited on hand and foot, while she was drinking wine curled up on her soft bed with Lysandra. They could be dying or sleeping on the streets because she was taking too long to decide which prince to marry, as she ignored the benefits of such an alliance because of her own happiness.

She was selfish and spoiled but she would do what she could.

“You should have told me.” Her voice betrayed her anger. She wanted to scream but it would do no good.

“We’re sorry.” It was her father speaking. “Hopefully now you understandably we are so desperate for this to happen. Darling,” sympathy was evident in the words he spoke,” we need you to decide which one of them you are going to wed. Hiram would be the logical choice but we know that you are good friends with Dorian. Sartaq is a good man; they all are.”

Her head was spinning and she felt sick. Guilt and shame coiled in her gut. Her thoughts became incomprehensible as they lapped and confused and grew quieter. Her mind became unable to string words together, even though she was not speaking them.

A weight was pressing on her chest which was already getting tighter. She could hear the clock on the wall and her breath began to sync with the ticking of the seconds hand but it seemed to be getting faster. Why was it getting faster?  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“Aelin, can you hear me?” Her mother was standing over her with a wet cloth in her hand which she was dabbing Aelin’s head with periodically.

The princess’ eyes fluttered open and her mother smiled affectionately at her.

“Oh, you’re awake.” 

It was on the tip of her tongue to deny her obvious statement but Aelin made sure that the sarcastic reply stayed confined in her head.

Instead, she just asked what happened and Evalin explained that she had passed out and it was probably due to the shock of what her parents had told her.

That reminded Aelin of everything she had learned and of the last thing her father had asked of her. The dread returned to her tenfold but she suppressed it when her mother noticed her expression had changed. They then went on to discuss unimportant things idly until Evalin had to return to her Queenly duties.

A little while later one of the castle healers came to check on her and said that everything was fine but she had to rest for the remaining part of the day but the healer would return the next morning to check that she was able to continue as normal. 

Aelin knew that she was getting special treatment because of her status and that if anyone else were to pass out, their treatment wouldn’t have nearly been so thorough. Usually she would just dismiss the thought and take it for granted but this time, it made her contemplate all of the other privileges she got as the princess. Her wealth, for one, was unimaginable to the vast majority of her people, especially with such hard times falling upon them recently. 

Part of her resented her parents for spending money on such luxurious and unnecessary things while their subjects were starving and the more she thought about it, the angrier she got. She was certain that her parents’ only line of reasoning and defence would be that they had to keep up appearances. It was the thing they cared about most. They had  
always said that it didn’t really matter about the truth, what had actually happened, what matters is what appears to have happened. 

As the healer was leaving, she was asked by a voice outside if they were allowed to enter. The guard dismissed her as if they had already had the answer from them but the visitor persisted and the healer said that Aelin was up to visitors but the guards were told not to let anyone else inside.

Through the crack in the door, Aelin could distinctly determine that the sweet, soft and worried voice belonged to Lysandra. They had planned to meet in Aelin’s room to have breakfast together.

“Let her in,” Aelin declared from where she was still laid in bed.

There was a pause before the healer called out to Aelin, repeating her medical advice to rest.

Lysandra could then be seen soon after, pushing open the door to Aelin bedroom. Her long, curly, dark hair fell through the door frame as she stuck out her head before her body fully made it onto the plush carpet of Aelin’s room.

“What happened? How are you feeling? Why did you need a healer?” Lysandra asked inquisitively, She was trying and failing to mask the panic in her voice.

Aelin explained that she had fainted and said, “I feel fine, I’ve just got a light headache, that’s all.” She attempted a smile to reinforce her claim but it turned out to be weak enough not to have the effect of easing the woman’s worries, as she had intended, but instead it managed to exacerbate them.

Lysandra went on to fuss over Aelin until she had had enough and decided to no longer humour her antics.

She tries to be nice about it, she really did, but she still had a headache that was making her feel somewhat groggy and the princess was fed up with people coddling her so when she told Lys to stop, it came across more snappier than she had anticipated it to be.

In response, the woman who was perched on the side of the bed slightly pouted and her eyebrows drew together as she said “Aelin, you passed out and that just doesn't happen for no reason. What did the healer say? There was no point in me asking her, your mother has probably told her not to tell anyone about this, not that she would tell me anyway,” there was a hint of self-loathing in her voice as her eyes cast downward at the implication of what she had said. She didn’t think she was worthy to bother a healer about the princess’ wellbeing because of her position in the castle. She picked up hastily from where she had trailed off and continued, “ you have given me the barest of explanations. So, what caused it?

Somewhere amidst her small speech, Aelin recognised indignation in her voice as it rose slightly but by the end she was almost pleading for an answer when she had been close to demanding one at the beginning.

“She said that i just had a sudden bout of low blood pressure that could mean nothing and I’m the Princess, I have a castle full of people willing to fuss over so I don’t need you to do it!”

Aelin knew that she should have been calmer but she was being defensive because she didn’t want Lysandra knowing that there was now definitely going to be a royal wedding with her at the centre. Only, when she imagined it, the groom was a faceless dark figure that instilled dread through her entire body.

“So, it’s no different for you if I’m the one trying to care for you or if it’s someone else?”

The blonde’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion as she stammered, “n-no… that's not what I meant at all.” 

Aelin sighed and reached forward a hand to cup around Lysandra’s cheek to which her face visibly softened. She leaned into the gesture and followed her hand down to the space on the pillow next to Aelin’s own head.

When they were lying next to each other. Lysandra quietly explained that she was just frustrated with having to pretend to ot mean so much to each other.

After that, they fell into a light conversation and shared small, lingering kisses.

Before Lysandra had come to her room, Aelin had already decided that she would not tell Lysandra about her impending wedding. She wanted to spend as much carefree time with her before their mood was dampened and before their relationship ended before it was even allowed to begin. She also knew that it would hurt too much; both her and Lysandra.


End file.
